When I look back at myself a year ago, or even 6 months ago, I realise how much I’ve changed and if I may say so myself, grown as a person.
Like a typical teenage girl, I was concerned about my social media stats. Did I get enough likes on my profile picture on Facebook? Are people reading and supporting my tweets on Twitter? Did people care enough to talk about me or my posts? I was worried about the things people could see about me online and whether I looked “popular” enough. If I didn’t get a satisfactory response, I would remove that photo or remove the tweet even though it’s what I thought or even if I felt pretty and happy with my appearance in that photo.
Nowadays, I post photos without messaging my friends first about what they think. If I’m worried about what people think, it’s not because I’m worried they won’t like me, but more so I’m worried I’ve offended them with a controversial tweet or by just being honest which, apparently some people don’t like.
I used to find joy online from one “special” person liking my photo or reaching 70, 80, 90 likes on my profile photo, but now I couldn’t care less.
The one thing that actually brings me joy is accomplishing something and actually expressing myself. This is something that this blog has given me and has actually been the only place I can do this apart from having discussions or debates about specific topics with the people I’m closest to.
Writing posts brings me more joy and more pleasure than any “acceptance” I’ve previously received from the community around me through the means of likes or retweets. I’ve outgrown all of these gimmicks and just want to be heard. A community of strangers on here has accepted me for who I am and allowed me to find myself in a short period of time.
I no longer feel like I need a person sat behind a computer screen to accept me by liking my status or retweeting my tweet. To be honest I couldn’t care less if they accept me at all because I am being honest to myself and if they don’t like this version of me, I don’t need them.
I am the only one who needs to be proud of me, and I am the only person who needs to like a photo of myself.