Today I woke up, and immediately sat up and tried to peel open my eyes. I didn’t feel the immediate dread that comes with waking up on school days, even though It’s the first day back after half term. I’m not putting myself in a low mood just thinking about school either, is this progress I’m making?
Usually I’ve already thought about how much I don’t want to be in school, how much I don’t want to have to fight through the corridors full of people, how I don’t want to sit in front of anybody in my classes and what excuse I’m going to spin to my mum about why I can’t go in.
Note that I say I don’t want to.
Only a week or so ago, I was saying I can’t. I can’t do this, I can’t do that. But now I’m recognising my decisions and the actions I’m taking are a choice. Right now, I’m up, writing this blog post before I start getting ready for school, instead of usually going back to sleep and wasting my day. I still don’t want to go to school, but it’s something I need to do, and it’s going to be a lot more productive than staying in bed all day.